


The Wedding Planner

by Milotzi



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Post-Canon, Reconciliation, Wedding Planning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-14 00:08:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14758887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milotzi/pseuds/Milotzi
Summary: A post-war career choice that proves to be less weird than it might seem. Happiness can be found in strange places.





	The Wedding Planner

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Alisanne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alisanne/gifts).



> My failed attempt to write a drabble or series of drabbles for Snape100 Challenge 744: Snape and the Alternate Muggle Career: Wedding Planner
> 
> Muggle career? Well, most clients are Muggle. But he still brews potions and uses spells... 
> 
> Also, it's 21x100. That's no drabble or series of drabbles. That's a story. Hopefully an enjoyable one. 
> 
> Update: added final paragraph. 
> 
> Since currently I'm my own beta (not a good idea), typos seem inevitable. I will eradicate them as I find them. Pointers are welcome.

Minerva was staring at the display of various artfully decorated skull masks, whose strange elegance was enhanced by a silver candelabra with black candles and a vase of dried, quite dead red roses. Her grand-niece didn't seem perturbed by any of this. 

"Auntie Min, everybody is supposed to dress appropriately for the ceremony. There will be takeaway capes, masks, and a make-up station for those who forget but you are family. We're supposed to make an effort. I don't see why wearing black would be such an issue. And aren't the masks dear Mr Snape has suggested for the family quite lovely?"

"Dear Mr Snape, indeed. He should know better.“

"Come on, Auntie Min, I know it's not what you or I'd have chosen but it is what the kids want. And what makes them happy should make their Mum and their favourite Great-grandaunt happy, shouldn't it? And I think it's quite elegant actually." 

"What's wrong with you all? Who has ever heard of a black wedding, Claire? And what's with all this death eater nostalgia? There is no way I am covering my face with a skull or wearing black lipstick. I haven't fought in two wizarding wars to dress up as Bellatrix Lestrange. The vaults of Malfoy Manor as a location are bad enough. I thought, fine, these two have met at one of these fake medieval thingies so of course they're going to choose a fake medieval location never mind that actual tortures took place here. At least they didn't pick Azkaban. But dressing up as death eaters? Have you any idea how offensive that is?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about, Auntie Min. _Malfoy's Magical Marriage Makers_ came with the best references, Vampyre-Goth is the latest trend in weddings and darling Mr Snape is the crème de la crème when it comes to Vampyre-Goth. They call him _The Master_ , you know. And aren't these candles and roses quite atmospheric?"

"You can tell darling Mr Snape, oh sorry, 'The Master' what to do with—"

"You can tell him yourself, my dear. Mrs B, would you be an angel and talk to Narcissa about the cake again, just to make sure we have everything right, while I address and clear up any issues your Auntie Min here might have." The dark clad man who had entered raised an eyebrow in Minerva's direction, kissed Claire Boyd's hand, held the door open for her and closed it behind her. His eyebrow remained firmly raised.

"Auntie Min. Headmistress. What a pleasure it is to see you again after all these years. You must forgive me for referring to you the same way your family does but they have insisted that everyone knows you as Auntie Min so unless you wish otherwise and let us know the surname you go by in the Muggle world it'll be Auntie Min on your place card. McGonagall, Urquhart or maybe Kendrick already. You must forgive me for not having the time to follow what's going on in the wizarding world, although weddings are of interest to all of us at _Malfoy's Magical Marriage Makers_ even if only the odd Slytherin couple tends to use our services. Quite understandably so. So maybe congratulations are in order, if not yet on your marriage then at least on your engagement." 

Minerva nodded curtly. It wasn't any of his business what her marital status was. Not any more.

"So, what seems to be the problem, Headmistress?“ Minerva's glare reminded him of the first time he had seen her when he and his peers had followed Hagrid over the threshold of Hogwarts on their first day as students. He smirked slightly. He had been the recipient of that look many a time, boy and man. At least she was looking at him, unlike during his time as headmaster, when she hadn't been able to meet his eyes, probably because she thought the hatred in hers might make matters worse for the students. And unlike after the war, when she had so often tearfully tried to apologise to him but not been able to actually look at him. Even thinking about this made him uncomfortable. Not helpful. He refocused on the matter in hand. "Is there anything I can do to help?" 

"These are remodelled death eater masks, Severus. How could you?"

"Mostly replicas with any death-eater symbolism removed, with additional decorations of Muggle provenance, and all thoroughly tested and processed according to the Wizarding-to-Muggle Artefact Act. Ask your other half about this if you want. Many Muggle cultures use skull imagery and we did not invent the Vampyre-Goth fashion. We're merely very good at it. None of the Dark Lord's ideology comes with this. Why not give these young people the wedding experience they like? It's a business and when this trend ends it'll be medieval banquets again. For the time being, our company's ahead. For Merlin's sake, Minerva, former death eaters have to earn a living, too, unless you want all of us scourged from the earth."

"As wedding planners? I get why the Malfoys are doing this but you? You could have come back to Hogwarts instead of giving a bad impression of Count Dracula for people who should know better."

"Yes, sure, and have half the children go to _Beauxbatons_ instead. Not that it's any of your business but I like this job. I'm actually good at planning. I don't even need to be overly friendly if I don't feel like it. I'm _The Master_ and Goth-Vampyre customers do not care for friendly chit chat. Grim is good. Scary is super cool. People book me because of what I do and the way I do it. Maybe it's not much of a job but it's a hell of a lot better than frightening kids into respecting potions making procedures because nothing else works. What I do now and how I do it actually makes people happy, Minerva."

"You used to make me happy." The words left Minerva's mouth before she could help it. She blushed and started fiddling with the candle in front of her. 

And she was avoiding his eyes again. Great. "Used to. And look how that ended. Look, I know the whole skull, black lipstick and pale face scene isn't yours but it is just a fashion and unless you want to introduce the Muggle branch of your family to the finer points of Wizard British history there is really no reason for the young couple to change their minds. It would break their hearts and bankrupt their parents if they had to cancel, reschedule and replan. We would have to keep the deposit and bill our additional expenses. The two are so happy with the plans for the wedding. You wouldn't want to spoil their great day, would you? And don't even consider not attending. You're their favourite auntie after all, my dear."

"So I'm to dress up as a death eater among death eaters, keep calm and carry on for the greater good? I didn't realize what an apt pupil of the great late AD you had become, dear. " The sarcasm in her voice was palpable but it was also clear from the face she made that she regretted having mentioned the late Headmaster as soon as she had spoken, at least to anyone who knew her well. And know her well he did. 

Great. Bringing up Dumbledore and avoiding his eyes again while sarcastic. Splendid. He should be winning the argument. He had all the reasonable arguments. Well, most of them. Could she win by pure stubbornnes? Thank Merlin, he had come prepared. He pulled two small green bottles in the shape of skulls out of his pocket and put them in front of her. 

"I knew this would be a problem. So here is my suggestion. Skull one here contains perfume that's actually also a refreshing fabric spray for all outer garments to be applied before, during and after the wedding. A new potion that will be given to all wedding guests as a gift and pre-applied to all masks and garments we can get our hands on. Together with a spell I will speak as part of the welcome ceremony even a small drop of this will make the Goth-Vampyre attire, decoration and masks appear as normal formal wedding wear etc to any magical camera. The Minister insisted that his Deputy and his better half should not be seen in such an environment or such attire. Speak the words with me and you yourself will also see a regular wedding if you wish so. Skull two contains a variation of potion number one. Apply to any outer garment you choose to wear, your face in any make-up and any mask, let's say a Venetian carneval mask, and it will appear to be in Goth fashion to anyone who is descended from Muggles. And don't worry — you won't look like Bellatrix, you don't have the body type; you'll look more like Cruella, and she's quite a handsome woman if the film is anything to go by. You'll need to wear black lace underwear to make it work that way but since you used to do that quite often that shouldn't be a problem." An unbidden but not unwelcome image of Minerva in her black lace undies made him pause briefly. He couldn't help wondering what she was wearing and what effect a splash of potion number two would have on her right now. "Mind you, wearing any other kind of underwear or none will have quite drastic effects so unless you want to appear as Flora Macdonald, as Wonderwoman, as a nun or in the nude to your family and their guests, stick to black lace. I'm sure the Deputy Minister won't mind. It suits you." 

By now Minerva was staring at him and their eyes locked as he handed her the second green bottle. As their fingers touched they both jumped and the bottle crashed to the stone floor, drops of the potion flying everywhere including their clothes.

The view of a stark naked Severus, his prick already up on half-mast was too much for Minerva. She pounced, her hands tearing at invisible clothes to to open to their touch what had already been revealed to her eyes. As her hands got hold of more and more of him, her lips latched onto his and their greedy kisses were only occasionally interrupted by murmured endearments neither of them had spoken or heard for too long. Minerva also managed to get in a mumbled "not engaged any more, big mistake, have been missing you so much; oh yes, more, more slowly, no faster" before returning to calling her former and future lover the names that only he and she knew the true meaning of and that both would have been mortified for anybody else to overhear. 

Severus gave as good as he got but had greater difficulties at first with the mixed messages his brain received as he tried to get his fingers to undo her actual buttons when she seemed to be dressed in layers of sheep skin. He supposed woollen underwear would keep a person warm. Who knew that a prehistoric sheep skin look could be so sexy though? And then he forgot about everything but the sound of her voice, the taste and smell of her and the way she felt as he entered her. And then, during the culmination of a wild ride of the kind that had made them both so happy in the past, they both forgot everything but the moment they were in.

When Narcissa Malfoy came to check what had happened to the company's wedding planner and her clients' great-grandaunt, all she found was a note: "Dear N. Tell Mrs B wedding to go ahead as planned; Auntie Min says hello but had to leave. Am taking the rest of the weekend off. See you early Monday morning. S. PS: We need to discuss place settings and security for B&D wedding. Deputy Minister not attending. Also, tell L. more masks are needed for the P&K wedding."

Narcissa stared at the note. Taking days off was unprecedented for Severus. As was the Smiley face he had added as a PPS. Auntie Min, indeed. "Good for her; good for them," she thought, as she pocketed the slip of paper. Best not to show it to Lucius. He might not be as amused as she was to have their wedding planner go awol in the busiest time of the year.


End file.
